Unlocking Empathy

The practice of improvisational comedy can unlock a lot of things in yourself — for local performer and Improv Falls troupe member Jessica Graeber, one of those happens to be the idea of being comfortable with failure.

Along with her sister, Jessica Graeber cuts her early performing chops performing impromptu plays in their childhood home in southern California. (Submitted Photo)

“The tenets of embracing failure and not being afraid of making a mistake have affected me in all of my relationships with people, with strangers,” the southern California native said. “The idea that I have to read this situation and grow past it has been apparent in so many different avenues of my life.

“The other thing is being able to appreciate what other people's strengths are and not expecting them to be one thing or the other. Improv teaches you that you're only as good as your scene partner, so you better see their value and see what they're really good at and be willing to adjust to make them look good.”

Growing up in Granada Hills, Calif., and later in Utah, Graeber quickly found an appreciation for theatre, with parents who brought her to performances and a sister who was always down to put on a play in the family home.

“When I started getting older, I was so afraid of rejection that I never auditioned for anything,” she said. “I was just kind of in the wings, enjoying theatre, but never put myself out there. I wanted it too much, and I wasn't ready for anyone to say no to me. So I kind of went the dancer route. I had no fear when it came to dancing. I danced all through high school and then I got accepted into college as a dancer.”

The idea of dance being the only thing she did, though, gave Graeber pause — it was the influence of a high school teacher of hers, paired with her lifelong desire to be a teacher, that led her to a major in theatre education.

“It worked out in my favor, because that's what my heart wanted to do,” she said. “And while I was studying theater at the University of Utah, there was a really cute boy in my accents class who did comedy improv. At the time, Whose Line is it Anyway was really, really big. And so it was on my radar. It's something I enjoyed, but also something that terrified me. But the power of a cute boy… so I showed up.”

Utah’s chapter of ComedySportz, a Milwaukee-based improv comedy troupe with locations around the country, drew Graeber, who was an instant convert.

Jessica Graeber performs a show at ICON Lounge with Improv Falls members Chris Andrews & Bill Ballard. (Submitted Photo)

“I fell in love with it from day one,” she said of the experience about 20 years ago. “That has become kind of my life ever since.”

Graeber eventually moved to Phoenix, serving as the Director of Education for Valley Youth Theatre there, in addition to serving in several other educational capacities at organizations in Arizona, Utah and California.

“My first teaching job — I was 19, I was still a student — I got a job at a charter school teaching theatre, and it was for at-risk middle school kids,” she said. “And when I saw how much theatre could be used as a tool for good in their lives, I couldn't go back. I loved it. I loved that age range. I loved being able to have the freedom as a theatre teacher to not just teach them how to act or enjoy plays, but also to unlock their humanity, to unlock empathy and have them really dive into their own character.

“I just love using theater almost as therapy in a way.”

The improv comic’s journey to Sioux Falls came from her husband securing a medical position at Sanford Health here in town.

“We did residency in Miami. While we were there, I got to teach at Miami School of the Arts, which was a charter school specifically for artsy kids, which was really, really fun,” Graeber said. “After residency we moved up to the panhandle of Florida. We were there for a couple of years and then a good friend of ours from medical school who works for Sanford and lives in Sioux Falls called and said, ‘Are you sick of those beaches?’ We came up here and fell in love with it.”

One of the first indications that Graeber and family had made the right choice was the performing arts scene in Sioux Falls — namely the evident elements of collaboration.

“I was excited to see that there was a community of theatre lovers here already established,” she said. “And one of my favorite things about these little big towns is that you get a collaborative theatre community, rather than a competitive one. Our first show months after we moved here was Little Shop of Horrors by the Good Night Theatre Collective, and that was awesome.

“So I felt at home immediately. I have three young kids right now. They're getting older, but they're still needing mom at home in evening. So I've just dabbled in some theatre. I was an understudy with the Premiere Playhouse last year for their new playwright production, which was great, and then did a show (The Ladies Foursome) with Broad Cast Theatre.”

Jessica Graeber (second from left) with the members of Improv Falls — Bill Ballard, Michael Sorenson, Emily Wilson, Zach Dresch, Debbi Jones & Chris Andrews (Submitted Photo)

It was Graeber’s instant connection with the players of Improv Falls, though, that solidified this sentiment for her.

“Seeing that they have this great connection with each other that they've been performing together for a while — I've been used to these bigger organizations where they have casts of 25 to 30 people,” she said. “We’d do five shows a weekend, and it's kind of a factory. And to come here and have a group with an already established connection, one show a month — I felt very lucky that they invited me to play with them, and it's exactly what I needed.”

This consistency has helped Graeber to carve out her own niche contribution to the troupe’s regular performances throughout Sioux Falls since she started collaborating with Improv Falls.

“I would say my favorite thing is the connection with my scene partner and taking something that they say and then being able to help make it bloom,” she said. “I like playing the game, so I never get on stage with that thought of, ‘I'm going to do something really funny right now and this scene is going to be about me being funny.’ I like getting on stage, looking in my partner's eye, noticing their body position, noticing what scene work they're doing and playing with them. And I think my willingness to play helps me be a better scene partner.

“I think that's what I bring. I'm not the best at accents. I'm not the best at coming up with punny jokes immediately. I mean, Zach (Dresch) is great at that. Zach is a standup. He can be punny all day long. And Debbi (Jones) and Emily (Wilson) are great actors — I'm so amazed at the talent they have to give you a full-blown character in a scene. I feel my job is to take what they can do and link it into the bigger picture — to make a bigger, fuller scene and be silly and ridiculous.”

This connective nature that improvisational comedy has brought to Graeber’s life has had an impact on her family life, as well — something she finds especially valuable in her relationships with her children.

“I don’t focus on the things that I wish they were better at or on being hypercritical — but seeing their gifts and their talents and what they're trying to do. I love that,” she said. “Growing up, I was afraid to audition. I was a quiet weirdo. It has made a more introverted person less afraid to kind of let her eccentricity show. Improv has helped me realize, you are who you are, so just be it. I owe a lot of that to improv.”